The Wilderness Before the Greater Work

In 2019, my family and I moved to western North Carolina with a vision. We wanted to start an income generating farm and establish our forever home. At the time, I was working remotely as an infrastructure security contractor. Throughout my career, I had never experienced much difficulty finding work. Then, after COVID, everything changed. I already had recruiters searching for new opportunities on my behalf, but nothing materialized. This was highly unusual for me. I submitted application after application, prayed for a breakthrough, and fasted for direction, but the doors remained closed. I had applied to over 400 positions on Indeed and Glassdoor, etc and experienced rejection after rejection. They took a toll on me and I started questioning myself. What is wrong with me? I could not understand what was happening. In retrospect, the rejection I was experiencing was opening up a door to other demonics and I was spiraling. I felt hopeless and yet, God kept telling me "I am here". Some might say that hearing His voice would be comforting, but it wasn't. It made me angrier because I felt like He was watching me sink like Peter. I even applied for a loan and got rejected (my FICO score was in the 700s).

Eventually, I went into my office to pray and determined that I would remain there until I heard from the Lord. During that time, He revealed that I had entered a wilderness season. He showed me myself through His lense and what an ugly sight. What stood out more than anything was pride and I was surprised because the Spirit of Pride (Leviathan) told me that I was just boasting in Jesus. It was like watching a commercial about myself in prideful acts. It broke me and I let go. Boy, did I let go. I surrendered. The surrender part was actually easy and when I did it, the feeling was like the world lifted off of my shoulders.

I soon learned that the wilderness is not an empty place. It is a place of preparation.

The wilderness involves total dependence on God. It brings humility, breaking, repentance, and the revealing of character flaws we may not have recognized during more comfortable seasons. It strips away distractions and exposes what we have trusted besides God.

And it brings challenges—many challenges. Financial. Spiritual. Relationships. Generational sins. Every place in my life was vulnerable and the devil came at everything he could, until I surrendered.

Financially, my sisters, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law stepped in and helped our family remain afloat as much as they could. Meanwhile, I continued submitting résumés. Out of desperation, I began applying for positions that paid far less than my experience and skill set warranted. It was demoralizing because I had worked so hard to achieve what I had. I was self-made.

Still, nothing opened.

What we did not know was that my body was also experiencing serious health challenges.

By August 2021, we were facing eviction from our home. We did not want to return to Maryland, and initially, I felt as though I had failed. I was stressed, my wife was stressed, and both of us felt lost. I was carrying more internally than I was willing to admit.

Then, during the same week that we had to move out of our home, I lost my eyesight. My family and I were staying in a motel in South Carolina when I realized that although my eyes were open, everything around me was dark. This brought out a fear in me. We were homeless in SC, we were jobless, and now I was sightless. Coming from a security background, where my eyes are instrumental in everything I do, this would be considered a total breach by the enemy. So, what do I do? I surrendered which would be the total opposite of what one would do on a battlefield to win. But in the spiritual, uummm.... Jesus. In the spiritual, it is the complete opposite, where God takes control. It was within that moment, that I understood what He meant by "I'll never leave you, nor forsake you."

On-going surrendering became my place of peace.

My wife found an ophthalmologist near Charlotte who could see me urgently. After examining my eyes, the medical team informed us that I had been living with detached retinas in both eyes. The news was devastating. I had ignored earlier symptoms because I assumed they were connected to something far less serious.

Surgery was recommended within a matter of days.

Before agreeing, I went into prayer. I needed more than fear, pressure, or human reasoning to guide such an important decision. I needed to hear from God.

I believed the Lord was telling me to pause and not proceed at that time. That decision was not easily understood by others, but it reinforced something that has become central to my life: we must learn to seek God’s direction, recognize His voice, and obey Him even when the path is uncomfortable. Which in hindsight, I learned saved my life (which I will soon explain).

The narrow path is not always the popular path. It is not always the path others understand. But obedience requires us to trust God with the outcome.

Because we decided not to proceed with surgery in North Carolina, we returned to Maryland, where we would have more family support. We moved in with my younger sister, expecting the arrangement to last only one or two months.

Instead, more challenges unfolded. As I attempted to prepare for surgery in Maryland, a required preoperative examination revealed that my blood pressure was dangerously high (236/127 bp). Multiple healthcare providers directed me to emergency rooms because of the severity of the readings. They looked at my wife pleading with their eyes to take me to the emergency room.

Once again, I found myself praying, listening, and trying not to make decisions solely from fear.

Eventually, we found a primary care physician who worked with me for nearly a year to stabilize my blood pressure. During that season, I also explored changes in diet, herbal approaches, detoxification, and other lifestyle adjustments. Not everyone understood my choices.

Some healthcare professionals and even members of my own family struggled to understand why I would not automatically accept every recommendation without first praying and asking questions. But after everything God had taken me through, I could not return to living disconnected from His direction.

I had become accustomed to being isolated by people not understanding me. If I wasn't on the island of Patmos, then I wasn't hearing or following God.

As a Christian, I know that challenges will come. I also know that I serve Jehovah Rapha—the Lord who heals.

That does not mean believers should ignore medical wisdom or refuse appropriate care. It means that our faith should not be left outside the examination-room door. We can pray. We can ask questions. We can seek wise counsel. We can take responsibility for our habits. Most importantly, we can invite God into every part of the process.

Many people want God’s promises without God’s process.

We want healing without surrender, purpose without preparation, and greater works without the narrow path.

But my wilderness season was teaching me that before God can entrust us with greater, He often deals with what is happening within us. He confronts pride, fear, self-reliance, impatience, and the need to remain in control.

I had experienced humiliation, loss, dependence, and a breaking that reminded me in some ways of Job’s story. Yet through it all, I was learning that brokenness does not mean God has abandoned us. Sometimes, brokenness is where rebuilding begins.

During the long process of stabilizing my health and adjusting to life without eyesight, I began sensing the Holy Spirit directing me toward life coaching. I listened to books, pursued coaching certifications, and began to understand that my wilderness experience was not only about me. (30+ years of following the Lord).

There were others who felt stuck.

Others who felt lost.

Others who knew they were called to something greater but could not understand why doors were closing or why their lives had taken an unexpected turn.

I realized that I could use my experiences, along with the practical and spiritual steps God had shown me, to help others seek clarity, strengthen their faith, and move into alignment with His purpose for their lives.

That realization became part of the foundation for Greater Few.

Greater Few is for believers who recognize that the easy road does not always lead to transformation. It is for those willing to choose the narrow path of surrender, obedience, spiritual maturity, and dependence on God.

The wilderness taught me that what feels like rejection may actually be redirection. What feels like delay may be preparation. What feels like losing everything familiar may be God removing distractions so we can finally hear what He has been saying.

I did not choose blindness. I did not choose financial hardship. I did not choose the wilderness.

But within the wilderness, I chose to keep seeking God which made all the difference in the world.

I chose not to allow pain to make me bitter. I chose to believe that my life still had purpose. And I chose to trust that the breaking was preparing me for greater works.

Perhaps you are in your own wilderness season. The doors are not opening. Your prayers appear unanswered. Your plans have fallen apart, and you are questioning whether you missed God somewhere along the way.

Do not assume that the wilderness means you have failed.

God may be removing distractions. He may be developing your character, correcting your direction, teaching you dependence, or preparing you to carry an assignment that requires a deeper level of surrender.

The wilderness is not your final destination.

It may be the place where God prepares you to become part of the Greater Few—the few who choose the narrow path, obey His voice, and allow Him to transform their pain into purpose.

Your greater work may be waiting on the other side of your greater surrender.

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“For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” — Matthew 7:14

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